It’s also a little insulting to suggest that the other person is upset because you’re not perfect. Nobody needs you to be perfect; that’s not why they’re hurt or angry. Instead of global statements like this (or, “I screwed up”), apologize for specific things. … [Read more...] about 5 Ways to Ruin a Good Apology
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We also directly target tolerating discomfort in service of a goal. Lana, Kayla and I watch some videos of training montages – you know the ones, where a character starts out a novice, but trains until she is strong? That’s uncomfortable, but the end results are awesome. Can we practice holding an ice cube, to train ourselves to be uncomfortable? Our hands say to our brains: “Let go! This hurts.” Our brain says back “Yeah, but I’ll get an awesome smelly eraser if I just hold on for a minute. I can do this!” What about chewing a piece of carrot or a bit of red cabbage? It’s true our tongue isn’t happy, but our stomach and muscles will be! We can train ourselves to tolerate discomfort, in service of the goal of providing ourselves with nutrients that make our bodies stronger. … [Read more...] about The Growing Problem of Child Obesity: What We All Get Wrong
Be on the lookout for an opportunity or find a way to casually bring up consensual non-monogamy, and ask if the person has ever heard of it and what they think about it. You could show them my blog Seven Forms of Non-Monogamy that describes various types of non-monogamies and ask them what they think about it. Many celebrities, like Jada Pinkett and Will Smith, are at least rumored to have non-monogamous relationships, so you could see a movie with a potentially non-monogamous celebrity and ask about that while waiting for the movie to start. Alternately, you could select a movie with a non-monogamous theme or character, like those collected by Alan at Polyamory in the Media. … [Read more...] about Seven Steps For Coming Out to a (Potential) Sweetie as Poly
An important aspect to note on this issue is that no one is immune to the potential of experiencing distress after watching media coverage of trauma (especially if images and videos are involved). In fact, in one research study, individuals who had never experienced trauma prior to the witnessing of distressing media were found to also experience secondary traumatic stress symptoms (Ramsden, 2015). Even more disconcerting is that research findings indicate that the percentages of people who may experience these responses are not minuscule; as some research notes that almost one-quarter of individuals reported experiencing secondary traumatic stress symptoms after watching violent media coverage (especially those who watched the coverage more frequently) (Ramsden, 2015). … [Read more...] about Watching the News Can Be Traumatizing
You Can Get Out of Your Own Head One of the best parts of a garden is the welcome change of scenery, whether from being lost in thought or being glued to a screen. “Our worlds become small and insular when we’re dealing with something like grief,” said Fehlhaber, “and it’s easy to get lost in our own narratives. When you can let go of those thoughts and simply be present and engage with what’s around you, you notice how much life is happening that honestly has nothing to do with you.” … [Read more...] about Why Are Gardens So Good for the Soul?