“It’s always consensual,” says Jay Wiseman, author of SM 101. “Abuse is not.” You don’t need restraints, gags, or whips to abuse someone. In loving hands, the equipment heightens sensual excitement, allowing both players to enjoy their interaction, or “scene,” as good, clean, erotic fun.” When BDSM inflicts real pain, it’s always carefully controlled with the submissive (“sub” or “bottom”) specifying limits clearly beforehand. … [Read more...] about The Truth About BDSM Relationships
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The idea behind this book is to begin to train therapists to competently address the unique needs of our community, from coming-out issues to affirmative language and terminology, to the "impact of history, identity, culture, and community on various aspects of functioning for LGBTQ individuals," amongst other themes. The APA acknowledges that this is an area where many graduate training programs of therapists fall short; one belonging to a minority group identity such as gay or transgender doesn't mean they automatically possess the skills to treat the mental health needs of our community. (And yes, I do identify as a member of the LGBTQ+ community in a few different and intersecting ways.) … [Read more...] about What Does “Queering Psychology” Mean?
No one really knows what the intimate nature of that relationship was. Works by author Les Daniels (e.g., Daniels, 2004) popularized the idea that it was polyamorous, with Bill fathering children by both Elizabeth and Olive. It is unclear how Daniels would have known this for sure. When asked about this later in life, William and Elizabeth's son Pete either would say that the adults had their part of the house, the kids had theirs, and the kids did not know what went on over there, or would scoff with "Who cares? Why do you want to know that?" In my conversations with Pete, I never went there. He did tell me that Bill and Betty (Elizabeth) worked, while Dotsie (Olive) raised the kids. The Marstons legally adopted both of Olive's children, but that was only a legality. She was an equal partner, fully a parental authority to all their children. … [Read more...] about The “True Story” of Wonder Woman’s Marston Ménage à Trois
By the same token, other research suggests that kink/BDSM can potentially be thought of as a sexual orientation. However, this depends on how you define the term sexual orientation, and different scientists think about this in different ways. Some define it in very narrow terms, looking at it specifically as something that orients us to partners based on sex or gender; however, others take a more expansive view. … [Read more...] about Is BDSM/Kink a Hobby or a Sexual Orientation?
4. You Often Complain About Each Other It goes without saying that no perfect human exists on this planet. There can be times when you may dislike some of your partner's habits. But, if you and your partner often complain about each other and indulge in blame games, then this is the sign that there's no emotional intimacy between you two. In that case, rather than pointing out the mistakes, you can sit and talk about how to overcome the differences. … [Read more...] about 8 Signs There’s No Emotional Intimacy In Your Relationship