DID you hear about the Australian child who had a disagreement with his parents about a cancelled holiday to Bali and proceeded to ‘borrow’ his mum’s credit card and book his own flights and hotel on the Indonesian island? The kid is something else. He’s Sleb Safari’s new hero. Obv if he was Sleb Safari’s own child it would have grounded his 12-year-old self for life. The boy booked a flight from Sydney to Bali via Perth and told his parents he was setting up for school but headed to the nearest train station, made his way to Sydney airport and boarded the flight with an airline he had chosen because it lets 12-year-olds fly unaccompanied. He used a self-service check-in terminal in Sydney and told the Nine Network in Australia that he was stopped and questioned once by airline officials and that was in Perth. "They just asked for my student ID and passport to prove that I am over 12 and that I am in secondary school. "It was great because I wanted … [Read more...] about Sleb Safari: Three cheers for the Australian boy who holidayed in Bali after ‘borrowing’ a credit card
YOU can’t keep a good man down and it should surprise no-one that Kanye West has made a triumphant return to Twitter, tossing out snack-size bites of Kanye-isms. Kanye is writing a book in real time and has become the life coach you never knew you wanted. “If you wanna see the true character of [a] person watch the way they treat someone who can’t do anything for them,” is one tweet. Sleb Safari is going to write some of these on Post Its and leave them for people to find. No need to thank Sleb Safari, instead it humbly asks that you pay it forward. Kanye feels very strongly that love should be our guiding force and has devoted what is surely a chapter of the real time book to this lesson. “Everything you do in life stems from either fear or love” and “fear often causes people to be manipulative” he shares. Before long these Kanye-isms are going to turn up on Facebook with all the other meaningful quotations wrongly attributed to … [Read more...] about Sleb Safari: Kanye West is the life coach who didn’t know you needed
OUR thoughts are with Paris Hilton today as she gets over the shock of almost losing her $2 million engagement ring. It all went down in the VIP section of a Miami club where Paris was partying like it was 1999. Above & Beyond were DJing, Paris was shaking her money maker and then she threw her hands in the air like she just didn’t care. Freeze frame. And now in slo mo watch as her 20 carat teardrop diamond ring goes somersaulting through the air and vanishes into a heaving mass of sweaty people. It’s a sizable diamond but there were 7,000 people at the club so, you know, the odds were stacked against her retrieving it. Paris’s fiancé, Chris Zylka, headed up the search, aided and abetted by club security. Chris probably spent most of the time on the phone to his insurance company checking whether his policy covered him for vigorous dance related loss. After much searching, shaking out of hair extensions and clutches and looking on fingers, in pockets and … [Read more...] about Sleb Safari: What to do when your $2m engagement ring goes missing
NUPTIAL news from Alan Carr who has married his fella in a ceremony officiated by Adele who has apparently become a one-woman wedding machine. Adele not only married the couple, she planned the wedding, hosted it in her home and sang at the reception. That must have saved Alan and Paul a fortune. Take note, newly engaged couples – Adele might do you a deal. The big day happened in January but Alan has only got around to telling us about it in the month of April. The first stop on his nuptial nattering tour was The One Show. "I didn’t win a competition; she is a friend," he told Matt and Alex. "We’ve known her for ages and when we told her we were getting married she said, ‘Can I please plan the whole day for you?’ "We go in there and there’s a grand piano with a man playing Ordinary People and then she sang our songs with the first dance. It was absolutely amazing." Alan continued: "I can never repay her. She’s a one-off. As we all know, … [Read more...] about Sleb Safari: Adele and Alan Carr in marriage shocker
FOR legal reasons Sleb Safari would like to make it clear from the outset that it did not bite Beyoncé. By now you’ll all know that someone did bite Beyoncé on the face because Tiffany Haddish told GQ all about it. The internet has been doing cartwheels trying to join the dots. #WhoBitBeyonce is trending on Twitter. The Beyhive can’t sleep. Humanity hasn’t been this vexed since Who Shot JR? Top human rights lawyer (and possibly the only human rights lawyer most people could name) Amal Clooney may have to get involved. Truly these are troubling times. Anyone with eyes in their head would want to gnaw on Beyoncé so the list of suspects is looooong. When the biter is identified they’ll have to answer the big question: What does Beyoncé taste like? Sugar and spice and all things nice? The drama played out at a party to celebrate the last night of Jay-Z’s 4:44 tour. Tiffany Haddish is bracingly unfiltered and told GQ that the biter was an … [Read more...] about Sleb Safari: Who bit Beyoncé?