The pursuit of happiness is, for many, one of the primary goals in life. It is, after all, right there in the United States Declaration of Independence. How do we make decisions that lead to long-lasting happiness? We first need to define happiness. Happiness can be thought of in two ways. The first is about how you feel. You’re “happy” if you frequently experience positive feelings and infrequently experience negative feelings. The second is about how you reflect on your life. You’re “happy” if you are satisfied with how your life is going and what you have done with your time on Earth. It’s this life satisfaction type of happiness that we’re concerned with here. Life satisfaction is partly determined by your genetics and partly determined by your situation. And your situation is, to a large extent, determined by the decisions you make. Some decisions, of course, are much more important than others. These are the big life decisions. The question we’ll cover in this … [Read more...] about Which Big Life Decisions Lead to Long-term Happiness?
Self sabotaging happiness
When things go wrong in our relationships, we often blame external factors such as other people, long working hours, or, more recently, the challenges of a global pandemic. However, a more significant reason why relationships suffer is that most of us have unresolved inner conflicts that interfere with our ability to trust and love. These conflicts occur between different and often competing 'parts' of our self, and also between parts of our self and parts of our partner's self. This complex communication dynamic is easier to understand and work with if we imagine that we are each made up of many different selves, and the ones who get the least attention , love, and expression are those most likely to cause problems in our life. Understanding and learning to accept our 'characters' brings inner content and peace and frees us to focus on and nurture our relationships. We are never 'out of character ' Most of us have acted or spoken in ways that feel ‘out of character’ … [Read more...] about The Theatre of Marriage
In my previous posts, I discussed some of the fundamentals in the process of loving. A common challenge is that we may perceive love as a magical force which sweeps us off our feet and we just enjoy the ride. Such a view is particularly propagated by the Western entertainment industry because it relates to our widely shared desire of experiencing instant and gratis bliss. When we do “fall in love,” things indeed appear magical and we have all of the excitement we have craved. The problem is this passive phase of infatuation does not last and eventually, we need to become more actively engaged if we want love to endure. Source: Armin Zadeh Erich Fromm called it the Art of Loving because lasting love requires skills and devotion to master—just like any art. Fromm did not know that advances in neurosciences and psychology would eventually prove him right. The art of loving consists of gaining awareness of the many competing interests affecting our mind at any minute of … [Read more...] about The Art of Loving in the 21st Century
We hear about checks and balances first – and often last – in high school current events classes: Democratic republics have checks and balances which stabilize them, keeping them from spinning out of control in any number of directions. Ecosystems are also sustained by checks and balances which keep them from spinning out of control. We organisms and relationships are too. We’d do well to think more about these checks and balances since they explain a lot – far more than just governing. I am my checks and balances. When I lose them and things spin out of control for me in any number of directions, I will no longer exist. My corpse, comprised of whatever energy and matter were in my last suppers and last breaths will remain, but I’ll be gone. There are two kinds of things that “exist,” remaining “things” for a while (nothing lasts forever). There are durables and perishables . Durables remain in existence with no energetic throughput – a planet, stone, computer, or watch, … [Read more...] about Checks and Balances Explain a lot More than Just Governments
Home Insync Insync oi-Staff on December 24, 2009 Secret Santa surprises some in portland, Maine with a 100 dollar US Bill. Well those who do not come to terms with the existence of Santa Claus, an anonymous man dressed as a Christmas Father handed out 11,300 dollars to shoppers outside the Goodwill store. 'My Fox National,' has it that the Santa identified himself as a local business man. Is not just being Santa enough to give and get joy? Forty-six-years-old Aurea Parker, who met with a car accident 11 years back is all happy about the Santa's gift. She revealed that she is going to come up with a Christmas present for her son in Utah by adding the surprise gift amount to her disability check . The Santa's gift seemed to have dispelled the gloom in her heart, I''ve been sitting around and crying a lot. But this was awesome. I didn''t think Santa existed anymore," the Daily Telegraph quoted her as telling portland Press … [Read more...] about ”Secret Santa” Surprises With 100$ US Bill