Source: David Munro/Flickr Key Points: Humans "signal" their status by looking or behaving in socially desirable ways, but how such signals are received is dependent on context. If a previously high-status social signal (like a college degree) becomes commonplace, deliberately signaling about it could backfire. Some will instead "countersignal"—deliberately downplaying their social status—to stay ahead of the game. In his 2005 bestselling book, The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pick-Up Artists , Neil Strauss describes how a fellow student of “game” distinguishes himself among male competitors for the attention of a woman on a dating show. Most of the competitors bragged about how successful they were, but Strauss’s friend claimed he was a mere “disposable lighter repairman.” This is an example of countersignaling. Signals leak information—abilities, habits, behaviors, etc.—intentionally or otherwise. We can’t always observe personal … [Read more...] about What Your Social Signals Reveal
The History of Western Philosophy endlessly reveals Five Primary Modes of Obtaining Valid Knowledge, indeed, what is “Valid.” The latter ones are especially relevant to the problems we face. Indeed, they are the foundation for the modern field of Crisis Management : 1. Expert Consensus or Classical Empiricism; 2. Analytic Modeling or Classical Rationalism; 3. Multiple Models or Kantian Rationalism; 4. Dialectics or Hegelianism; and 5. Pragmatism. In The Unbounded Mind: Breaking the Chains of Traditional Business Thinking[i], Harold Linstone and I gave an extensive treatment of each. They represent distinctive ways of conducting Inquiry. In essence, they are unique Inquiring Systems or ISs for short. 1. Expert Consensus or Classical Empiricism In this IS, Reliable Knowledge, and thereby Truth itself, is the product of the “Tight Agreement between a group of Reputable Experts based on the Hard Facts with regard to a Problematic Situation.” … [Read more...] about My Lifelong Love Affair with Philosophy
Source: 3dom, photographer/flickr free image Some people seem born to nurture others. Researchers haven’t yet located a “nurturing gene ,” but it’s almost axiomatic that by nature some individuals experience an inclination far exceeding the norm to serve others. On the other hand, an abundance of nurturing people learned to be that way because of how their parents raised them. Typically—though not always (a necessary qualification)—the messages they repeatedly received were that their fundamental value resided in putting their mother’s and/or father’s wants and needs ahead of their own. When, consciously or not, they complied with their parents’ tacit demands, they were rewarded: words of approval, acceptance, and love routinely followed their self-denying, martyr-like behavior. And even if their selfless, un-child-like conduct didn’t “earn” them particularly positive messages, over time they became acutely aware that not adopting a subservient role led to criticism, … [Read more...] about When Is Nurturing Behavior Not Nurturing to Your Partner?
Source: artist's name not given/pixabay free image The Borderline’s Monumental Ambivalence Toward Intimacy One relatively neglected explanation for the overblown rage so common in borderline personality disorders (BPD) relates to their unresolved trust issues. More often than not they were taught, however unintentionally, by their parents’ unreliability, neglect, and criticism, not to trust them. That is, their caregivers weren’t very caregiving . Such distrust in BPDs typically comes about quite early in their development, which is why many of the self-protective devices they adopted in reaction to their insufficient nurturing tend to be primitive. Overgeneralizing the family dynamic that engendered their distrust, they carry within them a deep ambivalence about how close they can safely get to others. They’re also wary about permitting anyone to get very close to them. Emotionally, such closeness is experienced as too risky, since unconsciously it revivifies … [Read more...] about Borderline Rage: What’s the Method to Their Madness?