Source: Photo by Gage Walker on Unsplash Living with self- shame is like having a 24-hour critical inside your head, constantly judging, labeling, and humiliating you. That toxic self-shaming voice seeks to limit you, hold you back, and defer growth. Left unchecked, it eats away at your self-worth , undermines your confidence , and can morph into crippling anxiety that destroys any chance of lasting happiness . Where does self-shaming come from? How did it gain so much power over you? Derek’s Battle With Self-Shame Derek, a young man in one of my weekly therapy groups talked about his crippling social fears. Tears trickled down his cheeks as he admitted, “I feel so much shame all the time.” “About what?” a group member asked. “My weight, my voice, the way I walk, how people look at me.” He paused and wiped his face with the sleeve of his shirt. “I guess I feel shame about being me.” Derek had been bullied at school, neglected by his family, and mocked … [Read more...] about The Destructive Voice of Self-Shame and How to Break Free
Source: Monkey Business Images/Shutterstock Parents often make excuses for their children’s outrageous behavior, whether it's a preschooler’s tantrum or a teen ’s sullen refusal to do what he or she has been asked. Children who become unmanageable or verbally abusive to their parents are, in fact, bullies , although most parents don’t think of these behaviors in that way. Maybe they should. Sean Grover , a New York psychotherapist, mustered the courage to call such children exactly what they are— bullies —and figured out how frustrated parents can take charge again and restore positive parent-child relationships. Here's what he had to say: Sean, you have worked with children and parents for more than 20 years. What prompted you to write, When Kids Call the Shots: How to Seize Control from Your Darling Bully—and Enjoy Being a Parent Again ? Grover: Years ago, when I started to feel I was being bullied by my own child, I read every parenting book I … [Read more...] about The 3 Types of Parents Who Get Bullied by Their Own Children
There is an increasingly popular belief in our society that our words must be perfectly precise in order to make others feel safe. Even as a psychologist specializing in suicidal ideation in teenagers and young adults, I am often informed, by well-meaning non-professionals, that it is better to say "she is suffering from a depressive episode" rather than "she is depressed ." It is better to say "he is a suicide survivor" rather than "he previously attempted suicide." I was raised by a parent who repeatedly attempted to take their own life, and by a second parent that continued to deny their spouse's intent. The idea that a change in verbiage will help someone who is struggling to stay alive feels insincere. It feels as if we need to minimize and deny, rather than to accept and address the suffering of our loved one. I did not become a psychologist with the intention to minimize the suffering of other people, but to address their pain head-on. And to provide a safe space … [Read more...] about At What Point Does Too Much Sensitivity Become Insensitive?
As a society, we tend to scoff at our younger counterparts. What do they know? They haven’t been around long enough to “get it.” This perspective is misguided. In fact, organizations that embrace Gen Z talent will be ahead of the curve with respect to addressing some of the biggest challenges of the 21st century. Namely, the balancing act of productivity and ethics while leveraging artificial intelligence (AI), the threat of climate change on our global economy, and the need to make real and lasting progress in diversity and inclusion initiatives. In terms of representation, Gen Z is taking over the workforce. Although their youngest members are only eight years old, the oldest members entered the workforce about four years ago, and they make up nearly a quarter of today’s workforce . Having witnessed both the Great Recession and the COVID-19 pandemic, Gen Z is ecstatic just to have a job. And in turn, they are eager to contribute and prove their worth. As stated … [Read more...] about 3 Ways Gen Z Can Help Address the Future of Work