If someone asks you to describe a psychopath, it’s likely you’ll include “intelligent” in the equation. After all, don’t people who rise to the top, whether in business or politics , have astute powers that enable them to manipulate others so they can succeed? Perhaps you know people whose tendency to exploit those who work for or who are emotionally close to them means that they are able to take whatever weaknesses people have and use them to their advantage. This might be a boss who lords over you the fact that times are tight and you should therefore put in hours of unpaid labor. It could be the spouse of your best friend who you know for a fact makes unauthorized personal purchases out of the joint credit card. The common denominator in these instances is the ability of psychopathic individuals to use unorthodox but successful tactics to achieve whatever devious ends they seek. As much as they may seem to have outsmarted everyone else, though, is it really true that they … [Read more...] about Are Psychopaths as Smart as They Seem?
Prolonged eye contact, good natured teasing, and longer than usual chats may signify that someone you're interested in is also interested in you. These four strategies can then help transform a flirty rapport into a deep connection. First, when bumping into the person, steer the conversation from small talk to a specific and meaningful topic . Pets , children, or hobbies are often at the center of a person’s world. Asking about any of these things may open the door to a personal discussion. For example, “I never asked... do you have kids?” or “I noticed the beautiful plants in your office. Are you a gardener too?” Second, recall a meaningful occurrence in a person’s life and ask about it. This conveys thoughtfulness and care . “How did Sally’s math test go? Last time we spoke, you were worried she’d freeze.” Once a person begins discussing something he or she loves, the conversation usually takes off. “She got an A, but we are dividing proportions tonight. Cross your … [Read more...] about How to Take a Flirty Relationship to the Next Level
I find it ironic that cosmetic procedures intended to improve a person's self-esteem too often lead to the opposite outcome. A growing number of women in my practice express frustration for having paid dearly, both financially and emotionally, for procedures that leave them feeling uncomfortable and insecure. Is it that more women are undergoing surgery and speaking out about it? Or is the frozen, plastic look finally becoming passé? What I do know is that more women are feeling angst about looking oddly unlike themselves and regretful about it all. Even women who feel surgery changed their lives or those who are simply satisfied with the results often say they were not prepared for the physical and psychological ups and downs involved in the whole process. Why does that happen? And how can it be prevented? Take Tamra Barney, one of the most real of the Real Housewives , a woman who has gone public about her plastic surgery and speaks about it with regret. We were … [Read more...] about Cosmetic Surgery, Proceed with Caution
Source: Image by pikist, free photo. “The Freshman 15.” This phrase has come to denote what the typical college student gains during their freshman year of college. Funny thing: I actually did gain 15 pounds my freshman year. Not so funny: I was still 15 pounds overweight in my mid-20s. I had not only gained weight; I had gained a dress size, too. I had slowed down a step and felt unhappy with my appearance. So in 1970, I made a vow to lose the extra weight and maintain that weight loss for a lifetime. This decision to change propelled me into a 50-year pattern of (mostly) healthy eating. From age 25 to age 75, my height (5’6”) and weight (125) have remained almost the same. With 50 years at the same weight, I feel I’ve earned the street cred to share my secrets. Why Worry About Weight? My weight loss of 10-15 pounds may seem trivial. But even minor weight loss can lead to health benefits for a person who is overweight. The Center for Disease Control tells us: … [Read more...] about 50 Years at the Same Healthy Weight: My Secrets
Source: Courtesy of Pixabay, no attribution Recently, a friend, who had just gone on a string of bad dates and was fed up with swiping through apps, confided that she had hired a matchmaker. The matchmaker dazzled her with stories of her impeccable record and keen ability to read people within the first few seconds of meeting them. “She must know what she’s doing. She goes to a former client’s wedding each weekend, even virtually through the pandemic!”, my friend proudly announced over the phone. While I certainly hoped this would work out, I was a bit more skeptical. How would this woman be any better than my friend in vetting people, especially after only a 10-minute getting to know you call? There are many matchmaking companies that boast of their success records and patented matching approaches, but is there truth to any of this? Should we be trusting someone who we don’t know with such an important, personal, and sometimes stressful process? The Research A 1994 … [Read more...] about Can Matchmakers Help Us Find Love?