Boy running. Source: Jonas Mohamadi/Pexels In a previous article, we discussed the late diagnosis of autism , an increasingly common phenomenon that has been attributed to increased awareness, broadening of the diagnostic criteria, and the introduction of the notion of an autism spectrum. 1 This diagnostic process involves rewinding back to childhood and closely examining our experiences to find evidence of lifelong autistic characteristics. During this process of reflecting on childhood experiences, and as they are clearly marked as autistic, one is often led to ask, Why did nobody see this sooner? Why has it taken this long to know and understand? and then to question whether an earlier diagnosis would have spared heartache or pain or a feeling of not belonging. In reflecting on this process, we have formulated a (non-exhaustive) list of things we wish we could have told our younger autistic selves. While we cannot turn back time, we can share these messages … [Read more...] about 5 Messages for My Younger Autistic Self
In general, while people are interested in making gains and getting ahead, they are often more motivated to avoid losses and missing out . That is why making something scarce, limited, or difficult to obtain can make it more desirable . As it turns out, that type of influence works in love, to make dates and mates more desirable as well. After all, that is why we have expressions like "playing hard to get," "you don't know what you got 'till it's gone," and "absence makes the heart grow fonder" when talking about dating and relating too. In the course of writing here, I have explored a few different dating and relating tactics that make individuals more appealing and attractive, by being less available or more selective. Specifically, I have looked at playing hard-to-get , being more selectively available , and appearing popular and desired by others . In this post, I will review those strategies further, blending in the research on scarcity in general—and helping … [Read more...] about Is It Attractive to Be Selective, Popular, or Hard-to-Get?
We are in challenging times in our country. There is a tremendous polarization. Many issues have bubbled up to the surface, revealing the deep divide that exists between us as to how we each frame the world. We strongly disagree about economics, religion, politics , racial, ethnic, and gender issues. We seem to have lost our ability to put ourselves in the other person’s shoes. There is a prevailing sentiment of, “There is only my way and your way. My way is right. Your way is wrong.” Coming from this stance, it is very difficult to find common ground. I believe the current crisis is a call to use authentic dialogue to resolve the issues facing us. As an existential- humanistic therapist, I believe there are values within the existential-humanistic (EH) perspective that can help us create this dialogue. Among other values, the EH perspective stands for creating relationships based upon honesty, openness , and mutuality. If we hold the intention of creating relationships … [Read more...] about Using Authentic Dialogue to Create a More Caring World
I had barely begun my annual read of the Harry Potter series when I was struck down by the flu in late January. I had a cough, minor temperature swings, dream sweats, and I was couldn’t leave my bed for anything but the toilet or the easiest meals. Gumbo soup, pre-cooked chicken in bottled vindaloo sauce, hot and sour soup; the nursing skills of my usually destructive dog; Harry Potter and watching ballet documentaries on my phone entertained me between long naps. I got tested earlier this week. I didn’t have COVID-19 , even though I was pretty sure I didn’t. Only the cough and sweats fit. I could taste that spicy food (it helped me cough), I could smell myself getting riper with no energy to stand up in the shower for 15 minutes. It was a run-of-the-mill flu but oh, my, I was bored in that gray space of 2 ½ weeks. The impeachment trial of Donald Trump made me human. I watched it on my phone in real time, read everything I could Google, watched documentaries about Q, … [Read more...] about Donald Trump and the Deathly Hallows
Source: The Creative Exchange/Unsplash More and more young people are suffering from eating disorders , according to shocking figures put together from government data by the Observer newspaper. 1 According to their analysis, nearly 20,000 under-18s were referred, for the first time, to NHS eating disorder services last year, a rise of 46 percent from the previous year. Of course, this is hugely concerning. Experts interviewed for the article mentioned the particular impact on young people of isolation, uncertainty and loss of control over their lives. Karen Street, officer for mental health at the Royal College of Paediatrics and Child Health, commented, in respect of the rise in cases at universities, that being stuck behind closed doors in virtual isolation was ‘an absolute trigger for an eating disorder.' She then went on to say, ‘These aren’t going to go away. Once you’ve developed an eating disorder, you’ve now got an illness. It doesn’t just suddenly get … [Read more...] about Eating Disorders Need Not Be Chronic ‘Illnesses’