Source: James St. John, Flickr, CC 2.0 Psychology Today's editors select a small percentage of its articles as Essential Reads. Five years ago, I reviewed many to identify some particularly useful nuggets. It seems time for a current version. So, from among the latest 200 Essential Reads, here are excerpts with particularly useful takeaways. For most, I add a comment. From Bella De Paolo’s post, Why You Want to Be Alone and Why That Matters For some people who choose to be alone, there is no reason at all to be concerned. People who choose to be alone for positive reasons (enjoying the quiet and the privacy; getting in touch with your feelings; doing things you love) seem to be at no special risk for feeling lonely or anxious. Instead, people who choose to be alone for positive reasons may be more likely to enjoy greater self-acceptance and personal growth. MN: That post and DePaolo’s extensive other writings on singlehood are a vital antidote to the … [Read more...] about Nuggets from Psychology Today’s 200 Latest “Essential Reads”
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Source: Paige Soller/Flickr You probably rely too much on self-esteem for your success. This is a mistake. High self-esteem has several problems. This includes the potential for violence and a fear of failure. If success is your goal, forget self-esteem and embrace self-compassion. Self-esteem has many definitions. One often used definition of self-esteem involves how competent you feel, as well as how you perceive the judgments of other people. Research from psychologist Roy Baumeister shows criminals have higher self-esteem than the general population. Baumeister and colleagues explain, “When large groups of people differ in self-esteem, the group with higher self-esteem is generally the more violent one.” Self-Esteem Relies On Validation From Others Often, self-esteem relies on validation from other people and proving your competence. Relying on these factors for self-worth is holding you back. Relying on external judgments and … [Read more...] about Is Your Self-Esteem Too High to Be Successful?
As a student at Yale University, military veteran, and mentor for Service to School, many veterans have contacted me asking for advice on how to enter a high selective college. Reflecting on my experiences, I have outlined 6 tips to help you on your quest for admission. Source: arrosalforn/Flickr 1. Enroll in community college courses. Earn at least a 3.5 GPA. Take advantage of tuition assistance and enroll in at least 2 semesters of community college courses. Colleges want to see that you are able to handle a rigorous academic workload. Like many other veterans, I was not a model student in high school. Show colleges that you are academically inclined by taking challenging courses, and be sure to take general courses—technical or specific credits don’t typically transfer. You’ll have to accept up front that you likely won’t receive credit for your military training. For instance, Yale took zero credits from my technical training in the Air … [Read more...] about Military Veterans, Here Is How to Get Into the Ivy League
When we think of grief, we tend to think about the loss of a loved one. There are, however, many other losses that we grieve. In general, we grieve those things that impact us and alter our lives in some important way. It can be anything from the closing of a favorite restaurant to receiving a promotion and needing to move away from family, friends and our comfortable routine. On the surface, it may not seem to be significant to others, but for us it is an emotional loss. When we grieve something that others do not recognize as being worthy of grief, it is called disenfranchised grief. Solastalgia is the term used to describe the emotional and existential distress caused by climate and ecological change and appears to be the biggest source of disenfranchised grief around the world. Today, the number of people experiencing climate and ecological grief is increasing. However, because there are those in the community and in politics who do not see climate change … [Read more...] about Climate Grief