There are certainly anecdotal reports of people being obsessed and/or ‘addicted’ to music’. One notorious case, is a Swedish man in his forties (Roger Tullgren) who receives state benefits from the Employment Service because of his ‘addiction’ to heavy metal music. Tullgren (with the help of three occupational psychologists) campaigned for ten years to get his condition classed as a ‘handicap’ so that he would not be discriminated against. In 2006 he claimed to have attended almost 300 heavy metal gigs and constantly missed work as a consequence. He was then sacked from his job because of his continual inability to turn up for work. With the help of psychologists, his lifestyle was subsequently classed as a disability (which in turn meant he was entitled to wage supplements). He now works at a hotel washing up and has been given a special dispensation to listen to heavy metal while he works. Other Swedish psychologists have found the ruling … [Read more...] about Going For a Song
People who are unhappy with love struggle with deciding when to call it quits. Their unhappiness tends to stem from some recurring conflict or pattern. They feel as if they can’t take it anymore, "I am done." Then, they run a mental calculus of the good and the bad then deduce they have already invested so much. Why not just stick it out? This back and forth neurosis can go on for months, years, and even decades in some cases. Now that we are in the middle of a pandemic many in this dilemma feel more stuck than ever before. Getting a divorce is complicated, moving out is complicated, and even if you are not married you may just feel profound guilt leaving your romantic partner in such an emotionally uncertain time or fear being alone yourself. … [Read more...] about Feeling Stuck in Your Romantic Relationship?
The goal of a discussion is to share feelings, perspective, or experiences. The goal of a problem-solving is to generate a solution to an identified problem. Before developing an understanding that there are two distinct conversation types, couples often think they are talking to one another when, in fact, they are engaged in two totally different conversations—they just happen to be happening simultaneously. In the process of having two different kinds of conversations, partners end up talking right past each other and miss out on an opportunity to support, understand, and connect with one another. … [Read more...] about A Simple Way to Improve Communication with Your Partner
Many writers, past and present, have reflected on humility, including Confucius. The ancient Chinese philosopher believed that knowing our place in a larger social world, as well as obeying social rituals and traditions, was the panacea to the evils of his time. In his philosophy, our individual needs and desires are always secondary to what is deemed best for society at large. The Confucian form of humility is profoundly pro-social in spirit, valuing the social good more highly than the satisfaction of our personal aspirations and ambitions. In this form, humility can greatly enhance social cohesion and our sense of belonging. Humility is also a core value in Christianity, where it takes the form of self-renunciation and submission to God’s will. While the Christian version of humility – associated, as it is, with guilt, shame, sin, and self-abnegation – may not be to everyone’s taste, there is still something important to be learned from the theologians. They … [Read more...] about The Art of Humility
After a cancer diagnosis, most of us long for a return to normal, and UC Riverside psychologist Megan Robbins knows why. Patients who have substantive conversations about issues other than cancer with their significant others have a higher quality of life than those who focus on the cancer, according to research published in the journal Psycho-Oncology. The more couples talked about things such as ideas, issues, even politics, the better the patient’s sense of wellbeing. By contrast, emotional discussions, such as sharing fears, concerns, or aspirations, lowered the sense of wellbeing. Most significantly, patients reported less depression when talking about things other than cancer. … [Read more...] about Improve Your Mood After A Cancer Diagnosis