Source: Ryan Hyde, Flickr, CC 2.0 This article distills what has worked best for my clients who have a problem with time management and procrastination. Sometimes foundational to the problem is that the person doesn't care enough to manage time well. They know that a productive life is better led than a slothful one, but are impeded by depression or having been beaten up in life’s first rounds, so it’s hard to come out for the next round. Or their life is in such disarray that managing time better feels insignificant, like polishing the brass on the Titanic. Of course, those are tough situations, but if that's where you are, your best shot is to defer thinking about time management and instead first take baby steps to improve your life, whether it's to clean a corner of one room, take walks, decide to cut back even a bit on your substance abuse, get a job you can easily get, even if it’s barista, see the dentist, or help someone worse off. That can boost your … [Read more...] about Time Management and Procrastination: What works
Source: Pixaby As an eating disorder therapist, one common thing that I hear all of the time, is a person’s belief that they aren’t “sick enough” to have an eating disorder or to need eating disorder treatment. Eating disorders can often be “competitive illnesses.” For instance, your eating disorder may cause you to compare yourself to others who are struggling and will then tell you that you “aren’t sick enough.” Your eating disorder will say this in an effort to keep you trapped and under it’s control. Often for your eating disorder there is no “sick enough.” I’ve heard from people who were near death and still didn’t believe that they were ill. Additionally, some people with restrictive eating disorders struggle with something called “anosognosia” which is a brain-based lack of awareness, where essentially the individual is unable to see that they are ill. This is … [Read more...] about Are You “Sick Enough” to Need Eating Disorder Treatment?
Profit is sweet, even if it comes from deception. — Sophocles America continues to hold traditional views on marriage, with long-term monogamy as the default expectation for adult romantic relationships in spite of recent challenges to this model. According to a recent report from the Pew Research Center, fewer adults over the age of 18 are married nowadays, down 8 percent from decades prior largely because people are remaining single longer. Consensual non-monogamy (CNM), AKA “open relationships”, are relatively popular, with over 20 percent of respondents in a recent Kinsey Institute study reporting engaging in CNM at some point in their lifetime. Importantly, CNM is not the same as infidelity. Whereas people in open relationships consent to allow pursuit of activities outside of their primary relationships, those who engage in infidelity are doing so without their partners consent, typically under conditions of secrecy. Although not … [Read more...] about Can Infidelity Support Marriage and Increase Happiness?
In a previous blog, I explained the challenges of estimating the number of polyamorous people, including who to count and how to count them. Since then, scholars have tackled these challenges and come up with some surprising results that document the number of people involved in consensually non-monogamous (CNM) relationships in the United States. Defining CNM As I explain in "Seven Forms of Non-Monogamy," consensual non-monogamy takes a range of forms, including swinging, polygamy, open relationships, polyamory, monogamish relationships, and relationship anarchy. For their study of monogamous and non-monogamous populations, Rubin and colleagues defined CNM as “any relationship agreement in which the partners openly agree to have more than one sexual or romantic relationship(s).” Image: Colorful banner reads Poly Love: Love Shared is Love Multiplied Source: wikimedia commons CNM is qualitatively different from cheating or non-consensual non-monogamy, in … [Read more...] about Updated Estimate of Number of Non-Monogamous People in U.S.
Source: Wikimedia Commons Using US Census data from 2013 and 2014, researchers from the Kinsey Institute asked participants if they had ever had an open sexual relationship, defined as “an agreed-upon, sexually non-exclusive relationship.” Just over 20% of single adults (mean age around 40) responded that they had engaged in a “consensual nonmonogamous relationship” at some time in their life. These are sexual relationships in which both partners agree they can have sex with other partners. Not unexpectedly, men were more likely than women to have had such open relationships and gay, lesbian, and bisexual individuals were more likely than heterosexuals to have had an open sexual relationship. Not anticipated, however, was that gay men were not the driving force for either the gender or sexual orientation numbers. Bisexual men and women were most likely to negotiate these open relationships with their partners. Perhaps counter to our expectations, these open … [Read more...] about Open or Closed Sexual Relationships?