Being vulnerable is a popular topic of conversation these days. In fact, at this time, Brene Brown's TED talk "The Power of Vulnerability" has had more than 53 million views. In spite of all the talk and of how much we may want to be vulnerable, especially in our romantic relationships , it's not easy to drop our defenses and open ourselves up to another person. My book, Daring to Love , looks at the different reasons we push love away. One is that love makes us feel vulnerable, which then scares us. We often react by withdrawing into ourselves, or by withholding our loving behavior, or by trying to control our partner's loving behavior. All to defend against feeling vulnerable. Obviously, we can strive to control our defensive reactions. We can resist isolating ourselves, we can interrupt our withholding behavior, and we can stop trying to control our partner. But there are also behaviors that we can engage in that will help us be more vulnerable: being generous, asking for what you want, and expressing and accepting affection. Be generous. Being generous—that is, giving freely of ourselves, our time, and our energy—kindles vulnerability. Generosity is an outward expression of… Read full this story
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