It can happen to anyone. A colleague, acquaintance, or the familiar face next door. Someone is on the periphery of your social circle, but suddenly you find yourself thinking about them, frequently. Although you might have known them for years, you unexpectedly view them differently, in a more favorable, attractive light. Accordingly, you begin to seek out more contact with them, maybe even strategize a plan to run into them—legally, ethically, and appropriately of course (I prosecute stalkers for a living). The strangest thing, as you imagine getting to know them better, is how positive and optimistic you envision your prospective relational quality. You fantasize about enjoying quality time together, in a supportive environment of love and respect, as if you already know the two of you will be a match made in heaven. Why do you think that? Wishful thinking. In fantasizing about what a relationship with this person would be like, you have projected onto them all of the positive qualities you hope they have, often without any basis beyond infatuation for your beliefs. Needless to say, you are likely setting yourself up for disappointment. Back to reality, here are some things to consider. Reality Is Revealing Ironically, one way to dispel fantasy is through reality—actually… Read full this story
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